Virgo, the Clean Up Queen

Leo has left the building. We know this because  cat hairs smother every soft surface, playfully eviscerated catnip toys lay abandoned under the royal sofa and monogrammed food bowls cram the sink. 

Fortunately, Leo is always followed by a clean-up crew. Here comes the Virgo cat (August 24 to September 22), neat, tidy, fastidious, self-possessed and judgemental, a feline combo of Marie Kondo and Lady Macbeth. If they had opposable thumbs, they would carry clipboards and give you marks out of 10 for slovenliness. When they leap up on to high shelves or door tops, it’s not just to show who’s top cat: they are up there inspecting for dust. Precise, practical, pernickety and given to disdainful sniffing, they have perfected the trick of raising a critical eyebrow, despite not actually having any eyebrows.   

On the positive side, Virgo cats are incredibly tidy. Self-grooming is thorough and meticulous and hours are spent ensuring that every hair and whisker is in place. There’s barely enough time left for sleeping or industrious mousing (they are very good at this).  

These cats appreciate order and will likely have a favorite spot that remains impeccably clean, possibly cleaner than your kitchen. All cats can sit on tiny bits of paper but Virgos can fit neatly onto a stamp. This is where they like to sit, paws tucked under snugly, tail wrapped tightly round, staring at you and finding you wanting. Don’t fight it. 

Perfectionism has its drawbacks. Virgos can be very fussy eaters and are prone to digestive disorders. If they knew about food intolerances, they’d have them. This means trips to the vet, very special and outrageously expensive cat food or you slaving over a hot stove grilling chicken breasts while they sit on the counter (on a tea towel or coaster, of course) and make it clear that you are doing it wrong. 

They rarely wander off. You may think that this is because they love your company. It isn’t. it’s because they know that without their constant vigilance, standards will slip and the whole household will slide into squalor and anarchy.   

Important  Note.  I would like to point out the the above piece comes directly from our feline astrologer Stella Hyde, and is nothing to do with me. Belvedere is a Virgo. He seems nothing like this. Stella tells me that he must have have a very different Rising Sign and an unorthodox Moon placement.