Under New Management
Wednesday, 17 July 2024 11:41
England went out against Spain (no dishonour) and the manager, Gareth Southgate, has resigned, despite his considerable achievements. England are the only team in Europe to have reached the quarter-finals of the last four major tournaments. He got them the Euro Finals twice. (Belvedere has been statting.)
Respect. We wish him well.
The field is now open to a whole mob of graceless, fat, foul-mouthed armchair know-alls who have been tearing into Southgate to put their money where their gobs are, lurch up to the plate and manage the team to galactic victory. Or not.
Who could take the poisoned cup and survive? Who would want to?
I have the perfect solution. Prince Harry.
See image of St George doing his thing for inspiration.
He is sporty (even if the ball is the wrong shape), he’s a lad, he can handle the tabloids, he has a glamorous wife, and Brits love him. His brother, Prince William, who is president the Football Association, could appoint him. Sing along: He’s coming home, he’s coming home, Harry’s coming home.
There’d be no need for tactics, strategies, man-management, nutritional regimes, practice of set pieces. On the eve of every match, he could just stride through the dressing room and shout
'Come on lads! For England, Harry and St George!'
He’d slay it. No contest.