After a few weeks of being harangued for your own good by Virgo, please welcome Libra, oozing charm, their weapon of choice, to seduce with comfort and flattery. Regardless of what they actually look like, all Libra felines are irresistible. Flirting comes as naturally to them as sleep, and they know how to play the crowd — whether it's you, your friends and relations, the UPS courier, or the local dogs. 

They lavish you with rapt attention, winsomely extending a paw when you need a little tenderness. They purr. They snuggle, They wind adoringly round and round your legs. You are putty in their paws. Before you know it, you’re showering them with gourmet treats, booking feline spa days, buying diamond collars. 

Know this. THEY DON’T LOVE YOU.  

Do not be fooled by their sweet nature. The charming parasites have your number. The moment the treats stop, or the heating is turned off, these cats will move on without a shred of shame, in search of a new mark. You ain’t nothing but a heat source and a 24-hour treat machine. 

Mind you, they won’t move fast, because they are monumentally lazy. You know those supermodels who wouldn’t get out of bed for less than $10K? They’ve got nothing on a Libra cat at full stretch. Why exert any energy when you know you can get whatever you want with just a flick of your elegant tail? 

Smart readers will have noticed that this post is shockingly late: we have been in Libra for a week or so. However, Stella Hyde, our consultant catstrologer assures me that such tardiness is   actually an homage, because being fashionably late is a signature Libra look.

For more about cats and the stars take a look at The Feline Zodiac, from Clowder Press.